An email (with commentary) from the Rice Office of the Registrar:

Hello,

To undergraduate degree candidates receiving this e-mail, please be advised that assuming successful completion of in-progress courses (Eep.), records indicate that you will be cleared for graduation (Like a liftoff?) this May 2008.

As the semester winds down, we encourage you to finish strong (Finish strong!), to continue to monitor your rice (proper noun) e-mail for important announcements, to regularly update your permanent address in ESTHER, etc. (What's etc.??)

For additional commencement information, schedule of events, FAQs, etc.:
http://www.students.rice.edu/students/commencement.asp

If you know that you will *not be attending* (I will *not be attending*, as I will be in Paris. Besides, I've already been there, done that. Wait, who's speaking this year?) the May 10, 2008 commencement ceremony, please formally advise us via e-mail at registrar@rice.edu

Congratulations . . . (Thanks, I like ellipses too. Usually I use them to express uncertainty . . .)